Who would ever wonder that life could, one day, demand utilizing his/her Project Management skills in a full-time domestic caregiving project, with a flair of culinary experimentation and daily domestic antics? 

Yes, after almost 30 years’ experience in Oil and Gas industry, with last 10 years as Exploration Project Manager in a leading multinational oil and gas exploration and production company in Pakistan, I had to apply my skills in managing an unexpected challenge of caring for my wife, who, during her battle with breast cancer, reverted to a childlike behavior in terms of unpredictability.

In this blog post, I will share my caregiving experience with a different perspective, i.e., an Exploration Project Manager’s way of handling sensitive projects; but occasionally funny, to make it a bit interesting to read. For me, ‘The Baby Management’ was a transformative adaptation from stratigraphic modeling to soufflé preparation!

Adapting to new responsibilities, I discovered that some management techniques are universal, whether you’re dealing with mapping techniques, volumetric estimations, risk mitigation or medically sensitive adults.

With this preamble, you are welcome to my cart, for a traverse from the basics of exploration projects to the intricacies of looking after a cancer patient at home. Along the way, I’ll share my discoveries of the profound joys and unexpected parallels between these two worlds.

Note: You may get confused by the title, and expect something else from this blog, but trust me this is not about any other (usual) kind of baby management techniques; here ‘The Baby’ is quite ‘unusual’.

1. Introduction

For almost three decades, my life revolved around Geoscientific interpretation, mapping, and exploration project management. Being a petroleum geologist by profession, my core specialty was to map and estimate subsurface oil and gas accumulations and propose drillable locations, to exploit these hydrocarbon resources for commercial benefits.

I managed teams, balanced budgets, and ensured that projects were delivered in time and within the defined scope. The skills I had acquired in this demanding profession, i.e., problem solving, multitasking, and helping higher management in decision making, became invaluable when life took an unexpected turn where and I had to manage an altogether different, caregiving, project at home, which I affectionately named ‘The Baby Management Project’, where ‘The Baby’ was just 47!

When my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, our lives were turned upside down. Suddenly, my role shifted from a seasoned geologist to a full-time caregiver. This was not a transition I had anticipated, but the one I embraced wholeheartedly. My wife, ‘The Baby’, needed me in ways I had never imagined, and it was the time to apply my project management skills to a new kind of challenge.

In oil and gas exploration projects, the first step is defining the scope of the project, followed by data collection, technical evaluation including risk assessment, and presenting the business value of the project to decision makers.

2. The Baby Management Project

2.1. Defining the Scope: Initial Screening

In oil and gas exploration, defining the project scope means understanding what you’re anticipating to deal with: geological formations, potential reserves, risk assessment and mitigation, environmental impact and economic value of the project. The decisions in oil and gas exploration are pretty much calculated utilizing the best practices in similar business circumstances.

For The Baby, it was all about understanding her new reality: an unusual outlook, frequent mood swings, and a ‘delightful’ (though at times frustrating) tendency to do the unexpected.

2.2. Data Collection: Routine Activities

Data gathering in my new role involved observing The Baby’s behaviors, understanding her needs, and anticipating her next demand, generally some medicine for new complaint. Like a seasoned geologist scrutinizing data, I methodically noted her habits:

Morning Routine: Generally the morning started after 12:30pm, daily. Usually babies don’t sleep the whole night and mine was no exception. So, wake up after noon, make tea for both of us, and we do the breakfast with a rusk or two, sometimes omelette. A little deviation in morning routine was always expected, and encouraged.

Afternoon Activities: Prepare food for dinner or late afternoon ‘lunch’. For us, food before dinner is lunch or high-tea, simply defined.

Evening Rituals: Watching sitcoms, soaps or movies. Dinner is usually soon after the sunset, sometimes quite late after midnight if we had lunch just before the sunset.

Medicines: At prescribed times, no compromises

Physiotherapy: When required. There were few exercises suggested in case of pain or any discomfort on the affected side.

2.3. Geological Maps: Personality Traits

Geological Maps show the spatial distribution of Geological formations and subsurface structures. Geological formations are the horizontal layers of rocks, generally stratified in a vertical column over a certain period of time (in millions of years). Geological structures refer to the arrangement of stratigraphic layers in the earth’s crust in Highs and Lows or some other kind of deformation of stratified layers. Generally these stratigraphic and structural features show significant variations from one place to another on a geological map.

Likewise, The Baby has a landscape rich in humor, occasional volcanic eruptions of frustration and fear of variable intensities, and containing vast reservoirs of love and creativity. But, unlike geological assemblages, The Baby’s chronology of events is erratic, I would expect anything at any time. These were the known uncertainties I had to face and manage, almost every day!

2.4. Potential Reserves: Patience and Humor

Just like estimating oil and gas reserves, gauging how much patience and humor I had in store was critical. I surely learnt that patience and humor are not just survival tools, they are essential in any challenging situations. But, being humans, at times we first create a crevasse and then try to fill it.

Mood swings are natural, particularly after such a significant health challenge. The Baby’s mood could change rapidly and patience would be the only tool to handle it.

Exercising patience enabled me provide her comfort through listening her fears and frustrations. Just being there when she needed, just sitting silent and listening to her was among the most powerful tools to pacify her for that moment. In our exploration projects, it was just like waiting for the right moment to drill, timing and sensitivity were almost everything to progress with project timelines. Although, in our case, The Baby’s treatment and its side-effects were not time-bound.

Truth alert: I thought I had plenty of patience and humor, but I was precisely wrong! After all, I am an ordinary human.

2.5. Environmental Impact: Daily Life

Her routine behaviors affected daily life as dynamically as a contrasting pressure zone encountered while drilling a wildcat; just expect the unexpected!

Kitchen or laundry mess were nothing new, but with her growing frustrations and treatment side-effects, a change in her behavior was quite obvious. Any breakage in kitchen would set her on fire, while washing machine’s drainage pipe spilling water inside the washing area was simply not acceptable. She used to say that unless she would jump in, the mess would have kept on piling up. She was the only HSE coordinator on our drilling site to keep the environment safe and LT I (loss time injury) free.

Apart from the mess these activities would have created, sharing household chores had become a bonding activity. Washing dishes after a messy baking session or hand-washing clothes and hanging them on the backyard ropes offered moments of laughter and teamwork. It’s not just about keeping the house in order; it’s about sharing responsibilities and enjoying each other’s company.

2.6. Risk Management and Contingency Planning

In oil and gas exploration, risk management is of paramount importance. We plan a contingency for equipment failures, environmental hazards, and budget overruns. Managing The Baby Sitting Project was no different; though the risks were impulsive, not hazardous.

Equipment Failures – Household Mishaps: The Baby would get upset for breaking things in the kitchen, or the kitchen appliances running out of order. Each incident probably (for her surely) happened because she was not directly involved and her collection was eroding due to improper handling.

Environmental Hazards – Messy Surprises: Just imagine, she walked into the kitchen and found the floor covered in flour because I was trying to bake a cake for The Baby; with the mixer on high speed and a very small bowl containing dry ingredients. It’s like dealing with an oil spill, but more deliciously chaotic.

Budget Overruns – Unexpected Expenses: Spontaneous purchases are her forte, as usual and this is the only habit which remained unaffected by any treatment. One day it would be an exotic spice collection and the next day could be a set of antique baking molds, because these were ‘on sale’. Budgeting for these surprises is always akin to accounting for unforeseen drilling costs.

Contingency Plans: Just as in project management, backup plans are mandatory. For my Baby Management Project, I developed most essential contingency plans, i.e. keeping a toolbox ready with screwdrivers, duct tape, glue, knife and a hammer, just to keep myself ready to fix drainage pipe and cut-wires to fix mixers and blenders. On the other hand, an emergency fund was reserved to cater for ‘on sale’ events.

2.7. Project Planning

Exploration projects are planned carefully, with certain milestones, e.g. completion of technical and economic evaluations (with potential risks), drilling proposal with expected time and number of wells to be drilled, anticipated production profiles with first production, plateau and then decline till the end of the production. Planning, and execution are not enough; field abandonment plan is mandatory for oil and gas exploration and production project and is also included in project’s economic evaluation.

In The Baby’s Management, such milestones were replaced by dates of chemo, surgery and radiation, together with daily domestic caregiving necessities. However, in this project plan, production profile was a ‘no limit’ straight line and, more importantly, there was no place for abandonment!

2.8. Decision Criteria: Call To Action

Every exploration project is subject to management’s approval, which requires certain decision criteria, based on different economic indicators, i.e. payback period, rate of return, expected monetary value (EMV), etc.

In The Baby’s Management, the decision criteria was altogether different, with no choice but to start this project immediately and then continue with the flow of time, keep providing the assistance on ‘as and when needed’ basis until The Baby recovers to the fullest, followed by ‘maintenance’ for the rest of her life. Here, the reward was in regular achievements with even a minor indication of positive result of ongoing treatment and The Baby’s personal feeling of recovery.

Any negative deviation, like pain, irritation, or any other symptomatic side-effect, was considered a serious health, safety and environment (HSE) issue and was dealt with immediate action, which would be through medication, therapy, and/or counseling.

3. Team Building and Communication

Successful projects require a strong team and clear communication. My exploration project team was generally composed of engineers, geologists, economist, accountants, planners, HSE and many other people from different disciplines. Contrary to that, for The Baby Management, my project team was composed of myself, The Baby and a part-time maid as regular members. Family and friends were our anchors in the storm; in exploration project terms, they were our inspection teams used to visit us as hazard controllers.

In the oil and gas industry, team building means creating a collaboration among diverse professionals. At home, it meant ensuring we both contribute to household tasks and support each other’s endeavors.

3.1. Role Assignments:

The Baby: Chief Mischief Officer, executing daily shenanigans.

Me: Project Manager, tasked with overseeing operations, mitigating risks, and maintaining sanity.

Maid: A part-time service provider to keep the home clean

3.2. Communication Strategies

Effective communication in oil and gas projects involves clear directives and regular updates. With The Baby, it was more about understanding her puzzling messages and natural outbursts.

Daily Briefings: Morning meetings over breakfast table, where we made plans for the day. Topics ranged from potential new recipes to what’s for dinner. It was often a win-win argument.

4. Resource Management

Managing resources in oil and gas projects is about optimizing materials, manpower, and time. At home, it’s about managing groceries, cooking supplies, and patience.

4.1. Material Resources

The Baby once had an appetite of trying new recipes. Keeping the pantry stocked with her favorite ingredients was essential. For project manager it was like managing a drilling supply chain, but with samosa, chicken tikka and French fries.

From spices to baking molds, The Baby’s culinary endeavors require a constant supply of materials. Running out of supplies mid-project is akin to a drilling rig running out of fuel.

4.2. Manpower and Time

Just like scheduling shifts for rig workers, managing The Baby’s energy levels was crucial. She’s most active in the afternoons, so I had to plan activities accordingly to avoid burnout (for both of us).

Balancing her spontaneous plans with household chores was a delicate issue. I’ve become adept at multi-tasking: fixing a leaky faucet while listening to her elaborate plans for redecorating the living room with fairy lights. We refurbished our home décor; almost everything except TV and carpets was at least 15 years’ old, refurbished during her treatment

5. Conflict Resolution

In the oil and gas industry, conflicts arise over budget allocations, project timelines, and environmental concerns. At home, conflicts range from what to watch on TV to whether the clothes really needed to be hand or machine-washed and hung out to dry.

The Baby’s choice in TV shows is restricted to entertainment that comes through soaps, sitcoms and/or movies. She was never interested in current affairs and knowing what is happening in the political arena outside her home. Contrastingly, my major interest was always in news and current affairs. So, the only solution was handing over TV remote to her while my smart phone is always my lifeline to remain acquainted with what’s happening around.  At times, negotiating to watch a cheesy romantic comedy was like signing a peace treaty.

Just as humor can lighten the mood during tense project meetings, it works wonders at home. When we had a clash, just a norm, a well-timed joke often restores harmony. If this is an art, The Baby is a wonderful artist. Lots of compromises were common on daily basis.

6. Celebrating Milestones

In oil and gas projects, milestones are celebrated with events: successful drills, record production days, and safety awards, to keep the team motivated. At home, milestones are just as important, but celebrated in a bit different way.

Recovering from weakening side effects of each chemo session, within 2 to 3 days, was a success repeated every third week. Recovering from mastectomy and its post-operative measures was the biggest milestone ever achieved and it was rejoiced accordingly with family and friends, almost daily for two weeks, until the drains were removed and The Baby could move normally.

6.1. Travelling To Northern Areas Of Pakistan

In the initial days of chemotherapy, we continued our travel wonders. Though The Baby usually felt drained in the first 2 to 3 days of each chemo session, travelling to mountains and picturesque valleys had overwhelming psychological impact on her, at least to come out of the frustrating effects of the ongoing treatment, albeit for a short time.

After three sessions of Chemotherapy, we moved from Karachi to Islamabad. After further 2 sessions, we travelled to scenic Umbrella waterfalls, located at around 3 hours’ drive from Islamabad, via the beautiful Margalla hills. To get to the waterfalls, we had to trek down steep slope for over a kilometer. The Baby covered this distance in a little over one hour, not bad, especially just 2 days after her 4th chemo session. First view of the waterfall was spellbinding, it was truly worth bearing the stress of such a long walk downslope.

Hiking up was easier, but quite exhausting. That was The Baby’s last significant walk down/uphill. By road or by air, she could travel for several hours, but the energy required to walk down the street was gradually waning with each chemo session.

We also travelled to Gilgit, around 12 hours from Islamabad, and Deosai Plateau, the highest plateau in the world, further 8 to 10 hours away from Gilgit. The trip did not involve longer walks and hikes, but occasional short walks around the lakes and scenic views were our choices to the extent bearable for The Baby.

After completion of chemo sessions, and before proceeding for mastectomy, The Baby desired a visit to her most favorite place in Kashmir (Pakistan), the Neelum Valley. Although we managed to get the resort we wanted, The Baby was not well enough to enjoy that trip as she wanted. At one instance after midnight, I was all set to pull out and drive her back home, but somehow she managed her state and next morning we had a good breakfast, walked alongside the river, enjoyed the lovely weather and then she opted to return home.

That trip to Kashmir marked our last excursion to mountains, during her treatment phase and until now when I am writing. After returning home, we travelled to Karachi for her surgery and radiotherapy, to complete her treatment.

With those milestones, taking time to appreciate the quirks and laughter, The Baby brought to my life, is important. It’s like acknowledging the cost-effective drilling and completion of a successful well; hard work and dedication pays off in many ways.

7. Developing New Skills: Culinary Ventures

Every exploration project taught us new insights, added to our confidence and expertise. With every project we developed new skills. Likewise, one of the unexpected delights of managing The Baby was my transformation into a competent cook and baker. Her culinary expertise had gradually transferred to me, turning our kitchen into a hub of creativity and delicious experiments.

Unbelievable, but following a recipe isn’t all that different from interpreting geological data. Both require meticulous attention to detail, an act of problem-solving skills, and the ability to adapt when things don’t go exactly according to plan. While baking, we didn’t know over-whipping egg whites could result in a disaster, a flat sponge, much like a miscalculated drilling angle could lead to a dry well!

7.1. Learning from the Best

My kitchen adventures started with simple tasks: chopping vegetables, measuring ingredients, whipping egg yolks and whites separately, and stirring pots. Over time, these activities evolved into complex culinary projects. The Baby’s knowledge and enthusiasm for cooking had been both inspiring and educational.

From cookies and cakes to intricate croissants, I learnt new skills – the art of baking. Under The Baby’s guidance, I’ve mastered in Biryani and Pulao (rice cooked with bone broth, either chicken or beef), making ice cream and even tackling the delicate layers of puff pastries and croissants. It’s like completing advanced training modules on the oil and gas production, but tastier.

The Baby’s creativity was boundless. She’s always tried new recipes, blending flavors and techniques in innovative ways, her own methods and experiments. Often she just mixed all ingredients and put to flame or in the oven and a new masterpiece would be ready in few minutes, with a unique taste and delicacy.

Every successful dish is a cause for celebration. Whether it’s a perfectly risen cake or a batch of cookies that didn’t burn, we savor these victories together. It’s like celebrating a successful drilling operation, but with the added bonus of a tasty reward.

8. Perspective and Growth

Managing The Baby has been a path of growth, not just for her, but for me as well. This experience taught me valuable lessons about patience, creativity, and the importance of finding joy in such moments.

8.1. Managing Expectations

Just as in oil and gas projects, managing expectations is crucial. There are days when things don’t go as planned—recipes fail, messes happen, and frustrations arise. Learning to stay calm and patient in these moments has been a transformative experience.

The Baby’s spontaneity has taught me to embrace the unexpected. Instead of rigidly sticking to plans, I’ve learned to go with the flow and find joy in the surprises life brings. It’s a lesson that applies to both professional and personal life.

8.2. Creativity and Innovation

Her creative approach towards cooking and everyday tasks had inspired me to think outside the box. Whether it’s finding new ways to organize the kitchen or inventing a new recipe, her influence sparked my creativity.

Dealing with everyday challenges, from fixing broken appliances to improvising when we’re out of an ingredient, has sharpened my problem-solving skills. It’s akin to troubleshooting issues on an oil rig, but with more humor and less pressure.

8.3. Finding Joy in the Journey

Celebrating Small Wins: In both project management and caregiving, it’s important to celebrate small wins. Each successfully baked cake, each well-coordinated grocery trip, and each moment of shared laughter was a milestone worth celebrating.

8.4. Gratitude and Appreciation

Taking time to appreciate the joy and laughter, The Baby brings into my life, has been a profound lesson. It’s easy to get caught up in the challenges, but focusing on the positives makes the journey worthwhile.

9. Conclusion

The skills I developed over three decades in the oil and gas industry have seamlessly translated into managing life’s unexpected adventures. From careful planning and risk management to creative problem-solving and celebrating milestones during a project lifecycle, the principles remained the same, even if the context was entirely different.

This experience has broadened my perspective, by disclosing that professional skills can enrich personal life in many surprising ways. The Baby’s childlike sensation, unpredictable behavior and creativity have reignited my passion for another practical learning and growth.

Finding joy in every moment had been the greatest takeaway. Whether it’s cooking together, tackling household chores, clashes, or simply sharing a laugh, these moments were the soul of our excursion, and still ongoing.

As we continue this adventure, I look forward to the challenges and joys that lie ahead. Managing The Baby has been a testament to the power of adaptability, and creativity. It’s an excursion that proves life can be just as exciting and rewarding as any oil and gas exploration project—perhaps even more when results meet expectations.

Conclusively, this rollercoaster ride had been about more than just managing The Baby; it’s been about living, loving, and finding value with happiness in the most unexpected places. And as I continue to steer this chaos, I’m grateful for every moment, every lesson, and every laugh along the way.

Cheers and thanks for reading

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